I guess I thought that I would always be stuck in that space of what happened. I’ve hated myself for a long time. I hated the fact that I let him do that stuff to me. I felt guilty because I got off and I felt like I was sick SOB. When I started to feel emotions for my girl, I tried to shut that down because I knew that I was unworthy of any of it. I don’t deserve goodness or forgiveness. I’m dirty. I’m broken. I didn’t realize that I could learn to forgive myself.