Sonya Brunner is no stranger to pain – the deepest, darkest, ugliest shades of darkness of this life.
Raised by a single mother in a home that was void of love and trust, Sonya endured years of sexual violence and torture. She learned at an early age that love was only for “good girls” and she was unworthy of it.
“By the time I was 12, I had been stripped of everything that seemed human in my life. I’d been sexually abused from the time I was 5 years old, forced into sexual slavery and tortured by a man that my mother had a relationship with. Then later after finding out, I was beaten and tortured by my own mother. I learned that love hurt. I trusted no one. I was a shell-void of everything. I was un-human.”
“While other little girls were playing dress up and Barbies, I was being brutally and methodically tortured sexually with objects, animals and anything else he could come up with to satisfy his sexual addiction. As his thirst for more went farther and farther, so did the secrets, threats, and violence and slowly with each touch, I disappeared and nobody noticed.”
“My mom started beating me and blaming me for what had happened between this man and I. She would physically hurt me to the point of unconsciousness and she would tell me that she wanted me dead.
Many times, she tried to kill me by strangulation and beating me with objects. She locked me in my room, with no food and would take pieces of the phone with her so that I could not call for help.”
“So what I thought was a ‘rescue’ actually was the ultimate betrayal. A mother is supposed to love and protect their child no matter what. Instead she told me it was my fault that her boyfriend had hurt me, and that I was dirty, unwanted and no one would EVER love me.
“God saw to it that I was placed in a foster home with a Christian family. They took me to a church where I heard about the love of Jesus Christ for the very first time. A month later, at a David Wilkerson crusade, I committed my life to Him. I was finally worthy to be loved. Why? Because Jesus said so.”
So what do you do when life throws you a curve ball? Duck? Take the hit? Or give up the game entirely and go home? It’s a dilemma Sonya Brunner knows all too well.
“All I know is people are going to disappoint us and let us down, but Jesus never will. I can’t control what others might do, but I sure can control how I respond. It’s a choice. I have to choose how I’m going to respond every day. Is it God’s will or my own?”
“My story is fifty shades of hurt and pain and then Jesus rescued me and changed my life. What Jesus did was create a canvas of love and hope and my life became fifty shades of grace.”