THOSE People

THOSE People

I have seen this on social media 100’s of times. “We need to pray for THOSE people!”


THOSE people?! Which people are we speaking of? Oh. That’s right. THOSE PEOPLE. The ones that don’t act like us. The ones who don’t look like us. The ones that don’t talk like us. The ones who live differently then us. So who are THOSE people? THOSE people are EVERYONE who isn’t US. Hmmmm.


“For the Son of Man came to seek and save THOSE who are lost.” – Luke 19:10

So who are those that are lost?

As it is written and forever remains written, “There is none righteous [none that meets God’s standard], not even one.” Romans 3:10


Whoever believes and has decided to trust in Him [as personal Savior and Lord] is not judged [for this one, there is no judgment, no rejection, no condemnation]; but the one who does not believe [and has decided to reject Him as personal Savior and Lord] is judged already [that one has been convicted and sentenced], because he has not believed and trusted in the name of the [One and] only begotten Son of God [the One who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, the One who alone can save him]. John 3:18



A wife and mom with 3 kids is struggling with alcohol addiction while trying to pretend that she is in control. She admits that she has shut herself down. Her husband wants a divorce. I ask her “Why do you drink?” And she says, “To stop feeling anything. I want to disappear.” A few more exchanges go back and forth until I ask, “What is it? What’s the truth? Who hurt you?” Which gets to the CRUD. Her father sexually hurt her for years when she was a little girl. She never told anyone but tried to ignore the pain and be “normal”. This crud has suffocated her. She watched my story and heard the gospel. She asks me “Why would Jesus allow that to happen to me? I hate him. How can I forgive him?”


Have you ever used something to make yourself STOP feeling anything? DRUGS? ALCOHOL? FOOD? MONEY?


A man has been married for 17 years. He said that he was looking for some media news on Fifty Shades of Grey movie stuff and he “accidentally” got to my website. He tells me he is addicted to porn and it has completely paralyzed his ability to have a real relationship with his wife. He’s hurt her and it has led to numerous affairs with other women. He feels guilty, ashamed and like he’s not a man. He said that when he was a pre-teen, he had a sexual experience with an older girl and was introduced to tons of pornography. He said that he has considered suicide. He wants to know if Jesus will truly forgive him? He wants to know if there is hope.

Have you ever looked at something that you shouldn’t have? Did you ever go too far, cross the line and then felt guilt? Shame


There is a woman who is in a violent relationship and feels like her only way out is death. She refuses to trust anyone because she has learned that people are not to be trusted. When I ask her about her story, she says that she has a mom that didn’t care. She learned to use sex with men to fill a void and those men would hurt her and her mom did nothing. She saw my story and wants to know about Jesus. Is He real? Does He truly love? Will He forgive?

Have you ever allowed yourself to be in a relationship that wasn’t healthy?Have you used SEX to fill a void? Is it hard for you to trust people?


There is a man that has been living a lie. He has a successful business and is married with 2 kids. He wants to be a good husband and father but…he will not allow himself to engage in any real emotion. He has turned to pornography. An addiction – in his words, that allows ‘release without complicated emotional involvement’ so he throws himself into his work and this has caused alienation with his wife and kids. He watched my story and said that he has never heard the gospel and that something “clicked” inside of him. He said that he finally realized the reason that he won’t “FEEL” anything is because something traumatic happened to him when he was 9 and he’s never dealt with his CRUD. He witnessed his father having a sexual affair with a family friend. He said the pain of that event has caused him to shut down emotionally. He has been hurt, angry and numb for a long time. He said that he can see how it’s just multiplied over the years until it’s turned him into this robot – going through the motions but not really living. He wants to know more about Jesus and how I got through my pain.

Have you ever lied? Have you ever held back who you are and kept people away from you so that you won’t be hurt by anyone ever again? Have you hurt your spouse or your kids by not being the person they need you be?


Here’s the thing.


We hear so many negative stories about “THOSE” people. We talk about all of the sins of THOSE people. THOSE people are messed up. THOSE people need to go to church. Stay away from THOSE people. THOSE people are horrible influences on you. THOSE people are not living for Jesus. THOSE people are ruining are country. THOSE people are ruining our way of life. 

I AM one of THOSE people.

I don’t look like you. I don’t act like you. I don’t talk like you. I don’t say things you would say. I don’t handle things the same way that you do. I don’t react to situations the same way that you do. My story is different than yours. I am human. I make mistakes all the time. I fail. I lose my temper. I feel inadequate. I hurt. I cry. I feel like I WANT to do the wrong thing sometimes. Do you understand that I have done so many things that the bible calls sin, I can’t even begin to keep track? I have lied. I have cheated. I have said wicked things about others. I have had SEX. Lots and lots of sex. And I wasn’t MARRIED. I have smoked. I have drank alcohol. I have watched things that I shouldn’t. I have tried to be the boss of my life. I have taken Jesus for granted. I have put myself and other things before Jesus. I have hurt Him and grieved Him DEEPLY. I have done many of the things that the people above have confessed to. Shall I go on? 


I once was LOST. But now I’m FOUND. Jesus did that. He did that for YOU, too. Who are THOSE people? THOSE people are PEOPLE. People with hearts and minds and the deepest desire to be loved. I hate to break this to you, but YOU are one of THOSE people, TOO!


People think they know religion. They think they know what God is all about. But most people have a world view filled with their own CRUD as the filter. THEY DON’T KNOW THE TRUTH. Do YOU know the truth? I think we need to ask ourselves this question before we judge others or tell them how they need to live. 

“I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life. John 5:24

“He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.” 2 Corinthians 5:15


If we continue to view THOSE people then anything different than what we are, we encourage, promote and execute the very notion that we are BETTER. We are no better than ANYONE. And we’re not worse, either. The only thing that makes me different from those that are lost, is JESUS CHRIST. His blood covers my sin and therefore I am free from the debt that I owe.


“Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior].” – Romans 8:1

Again, I am reminded that all of us have a story. We all have a circle of influence around us with people that are hurting and need to know about Jesus Christ. If you have crud that you’ve never dealt with – DEAL WITH YOUR CRUD. Don’t be afraid of doing the hard work of dealing with it. I guarantee you that the way you are living now by NOT dealing with it is a lot WORSE. Deal with your crud. If you know Jesus, share your story. If you don’t know Jesus, ask me. I’d love to introduce you to Him. Jesus changes everything.


Are you one of THOSE people? Yes. You are a human being that has a mind and a heart and a deep desire to be loved. What you do with that is up to you. It’s your choice.

Get your own heart right with Jesus. When you are able to love others, THEN you can share your story and speak the TRUTH in LOVE.

We must NEVER forget that we are one of THOSE people that Jesus gave His all for. 

  • litnip34
    Posted at 23:52h, 16 June Reply

    Wow, Sonya. The story about the woman who is an alcoholic really nailed me in the heart. I have been struggling with an alcohol habit for about a year and a half. I haven’t been stumbling drunk. I’m able to hold down my every day activities but the other day I couldn’t remember taking my kid to daycare. I have never believed in religion before but I have been reading some of your other posts. I feel like God is trying to get my attention. I just don’t know how to stop drinking. It takes the pain away and I need that. I know that’s messed up but I don’t know how to stop.

  • Ajones1409
    Posted at 00:00h, 17 June Reply

    I am sitting here reading this with tears streaming down my face. I had no idea that you have been hurt so badly. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through and how you are able to share with all of us your pain over and over again. I am in a marriage that has become void of emotion. We don’t love each other anymore. I feel so alone. I guess that’s why I decided to reach out to you today. I just can’t pretend anymore. He tells me that I’m fat and that I’m lazy and that I basically have ruined his life because I wasn’t the “perfect” wife that he dreamed of. All of these stories that you’ve shared just made me realize that I am headed for a disaster if something doesn’t change. I am one of THOSE people, too. I don’t know how to forgive him for his words and actions. He’s nice to everyone else but at home he’s an ass. I want to leave. I’m tired of dealing with his crap and I don’t believe that he can change. What should I do?

  • NeilM8p
    Posted at 00:03h, 17 June Reply

    Thank you for writing this. I am guilty of judging others. I have been a critical brat and I need to realize I am no different. This was excellent, Sonya. Whatever it is that the Lord is doing in your heart, we are the ones that are reaping the benefits. I am one of THOSE, too.

  • Hank91Mc
    Posted at 00:05h, 17 June Reply

    “Get your own heart right with Jesus. When you are able to love others, THEN you can share your story and speak the TRUTH in LOVE” convicted me. So good, Sonya. I never thought about getting to the point where I actually love the person BEFORE I say anything to them about biblical things. Ah, oh man. This is SOOOO good.

  • ChrisZoL02
    Posted at 00:10h, 17 June Reply

    I want to be so mad at you but I know I’m only mad at myself. I have struggled with being judgmental and then I read this and I felt like God was trying to tell me that I’ve been a hypocrite. I have done many of the things that these people have but wouldn’t be caught dead listing out my sins like you’ve done here. You are brave. I need to ask the Lord to forgive me and stop putting everyone else in that category. Sonya, you bless me more than you’ll ever know.

  • Jam07721
    Posted at 00:13h, 17 June Reply

    You are a beautiful woman and you inspire me to want to be a better man. Would you pray for me? I want to stop my attraction to pornography but it’s difficult. I feel like you will not judge me and understand my attraction. Thank you for your prayers.

  • LynnYile23
    Posted at 00:21h, 17 June Reply

    Once again, you nailed it girl! Get to the place where we love first before we tell them about bible things. I admit that I have failed miserably. I see the political candidates and senseless shootings and decisions made by this country that make me crazy and I fly off the handle and I’m sure that I’ve hurt my witness because of it. You never judge us but the Lord allows you to smack us good with His truth. I too, am one of THOSE people. Thanks for this crucial reminder.

Post A Comment