Flawless

Flawless

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, there is no flaw in you.” – Song of Songs 4:7

“As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” – Psalm 18:30

 

FLAWLESS – without any blemishes or imperfections; perfect. Without any mistakes or shortcomings.

Flawless – We’d all like to be less flawed, damaged, imperfect or weak. But who is without any mistakes or shortcomings? NO ONE.

If there was ever ANYONE who has FLAWS – it would be ME!

As a 5 year old child, I was beaten, raped, tortured, sold for sex, and everything else you can imagine. I was told that no-one would ever think I was a good girl and no one would ever love me. I was stripped of every human emotion and I believed those lies as the truth. THEN I met JESUS. I learned that He loved me and He continued to show me every day, how the lies that I had believed were not true. He changed my mind. He changed my heart. And He changed my life.

The world tries to tell us what we SHOULD be, what we SHOULD think and what we SHOULD feel.

But God says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2

1. We are not to be a cookie cutter of ANYONE else. We are unique.

It’s okay to be smart. It’s okay to be drop – dead gorgeous. It’s okay to be adventurous. It’s okay for you to have your own thoughts, beliefs and opinions. Others should NOT tell us what we SHOULD think, do or say. Only the One that made us (Jesus) gets to tell us anything. And we’d be wise to believe what He says.

NO Comparing ourselves to others!!! We are created to be unique, different and special.

You have no idea who the person is that you are comparing yourself to. NOT REALLY! You don’t know how they feel, what they’ve been through. You’re seeing the outside “flawless” screen shot – not that person’s soul. You have NO idea what they believe, who they follow. They have flaws. They have sin. The only ONE we should be trying to copy is JESUS.

NO Competing with anyone!!! We are supposed to be who Jesus created us to be.

We’re not the BEST. But we’re not the WORST. If you find yourself always trying to be “better” than someone or be the best…ask yourself why and what are you getting out of it by doing that? A person who is always turning everything into a competition is INSECURE about themselves. So what’s so horrible about being you? There’s always someone better at it then us. *It’s not important to BE the best, it’s important to DO YOUR best.

NO Compromising – Take a stand, make a commitment, give your word – and keep it.

Do not settle or accept standards that are lower. God’s word is the standard.

 NO Cutting-down anyone else – INCLUDING ourselves.

We say HORRIBLE things about ourselves. When you look in the mirror, what are you saying to yourself? Is it the truth? Do you know how you can spot a lie? By knowing the TRUTH. *Talking negative about God’s girl is NEVER okay.

HURTING PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE!

Have you noticed how MEAN girls are? They are SO mean!!! **We need to stop being MEAN to other girls. Including ourselves. Instead of feeling jealous or insecure, how about we celebrate the gifts and talents that God has chosen to give each one of us. Some of you can draw, some of you are great at making people laugh, some of you are smart, some of you are great at music, some of you are confident, some of you are naturally beautiful without any make up, some of you are great leaders.

Hey, here’s a thought…instead of comparing ourselves to others, or let’s call it what it is…sinning and being jealous of what some other girl has that we don’t, why not be HAPPY for them and HAPPY for what God has given US?

 2. Relationships are VERY important to God. But not MORE important than God.

Relationships should always POINT us to JESUS. Any relationship that pushes us AWAY from Jesus is deadly. You must make your choice NOW.

How someone else thinks about you is NEVER more important then what Jesus thinks about you.

Let’s talk about the #1 resource, tool and staple for RELATIONSHIPS – THE CELL PHONE!

Cell phones can be helpful or hurtful.

There is NO SUCH THING as PRIVACY where internet/social media is concerned.

Once you SEND, it never ends.

So you can be helpful and use your cell phone for good or you can be hurtful. You need to make a choice.

Our bodies belong to GOD. Our hearts belong to God. Our thoughts and feelings belong to God. NOT a person. We are not to give our bodies away (sex, texting naked pictures of ourselves, looking at naked pictures that are sent to us or texting sexually explicit text messages – sexting) 

It’s AGAINST the LAW – While laws vary from state to state, the person creating and sending the image is possibly looking at charges of child pornography and sexual exploitation of a minor. Being convicted of those charges can carry up to 20 years in prison.

3. FLAWS/CRUD…because remember…everybody’s got it!

What is CRUD anyway?

CRUD isn’t sin. Crud is the stuff that you FEEL – the emotions that are caused by being hurt by another human being.

Why is it important to deal with the CRUD?

CRUD that isn’t dealt with, can become SIN acted out in our lives. Sin is anything that keeps us from living in a full relationship with Jesus Christ.

You can try to pretend it’s not there. You can try to ignore it. You can lie to yourself and place a Band-Aid on it but if you don’t clean out the wound, no Band-Aid in the world will help heal it. Sometimes the crud gets there at the hands of someone else. But sometimes the crud gets there because of us. And it’s that CRUD that comes out when we are squeezed by all the chaos, demands and pressures of this world.

If you can’t tell God your garbage, who can you tell? He knows it all anyway.

There are a couple of things that satan uses to trip us up on dealing with our crud.

Satan wants to paralyze us with GUILT. Guilt for things we’ve done. Guilt for things we should’ve done but didn’t do. The problem with carrying around the guilt is that it holds you back and prevents you from moving forward. It’s like being on a gerbil wheel. The little rat gets on the wheel and runs and runs but he never gets anywhere. And as we carry that guilt, all we see is we are unworthy, we are worthless, me me me me me. Instead of our focus being on Jesus and His power and forgiveness, the focus becomes US. Are you on the gerbil wheel? Could it be that you have been carrying around guilt and you are so trapped under that weight that you can’t even breathe, let alone share the gospel with anyone else? God is faithful to forgive. Admit it. Confess it and tell.           

INABILITY TO FORGIVE – This is hard. This can mess you up. We know that we’re supposed to forgive but it’s so much easier to hold on to the anger because then we’re ‘one up’ on that person who hurt us. We hold this thing over their heads so that we are always higher then them. When we stuff the pain and refuse to deal with the hurt of what happened we become bitter, poisoned and stuck. WE STAY THE VICTIM!! I know what it feels like to be hurt and betrayed by people that should have known better but didn’t do better by me. I know how raw the hurt is.

I’ve learned that forgiveness means that you must relive what they’ve done to you and release them from the debt that you think they owe you.

What do you do if you’ve messed up?

ASK for forgiveness and decide TODAY a different course of action for yourself in the future.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

 

4. Purpose, character, strength and how the choices we make TODAY will change our future.

 

Purpose – A. What God says is our purpose: Love God, Love people

What we dream of (and working, learning, pushing our selves to accomplish that dream) NO COMPROMISING, NO Comparing – you can’t focus on YOUR purpose while looking at other people.

Character – what we see in the dark is what we should see in the light(integrity)

Strength – doing what is right when EVERYONE else is doing the wrong thing.

Doing the hard thing INSTEAD of the easy thing. Admitting when you’re wrong and making it right.

5. How two little words “YES” and “NO” might be 2 of the most powerful weapons in a girls arsenal.

Girls are natural people pleasers. They have “I want to take care of someone” genes. Girls tend to WANT to PLEASE PEOPLE. That “PEOPLE” pleasing thing can get us into trouble.

Who’s opinion is the ONLY one that matters? Jesus.

Saying NO to doing something that is against God’s word. Saying YES to yourself and all that God wants you to be.

What is something in your life that you should be saying “NO” to?

What is the thing that you need to say “YES” to?

So how do we become FLAWLESS? Could the answer be in that teeny, tiny word “LESS”?

Less of ourselves, less of the world, less of any thought, attitude or belief that does not line up with God’s FLAWLESS word, and more of Jesus Christ.

As one FLAWLESS girl who attended the conference put it, “We are FLAWLESS in the eyes of God because the blood of Jesus Christ, who died on a cross to pay the punishment of OUR sins, makes us new and clean in the eyes of God.”

 

80 Comments
  • Ticktock031
    Posted at 16:47h, 04 April Reply

    I was at the conference this weekend and I was so impressed with the way that you shared your story with such passion and conviction. We had several girls in our group that made decisions to follow Christ. Thank you for what you do, Sonya. I almost didn’t come to this and now after seeing all that God did, I feel grateful that I got to see Jesus move so mightily. Your story is powerful but you have this way of breaking down barriers or guilt and judgement and we feel like we can be ourselves. I realized that I have crud and that I’ve been avoiding dealing with it. When and where will you be speaking next? I am praying that we can have you come to our church and speak to our women. Thank you for your faithfulness.

  • Jhern016
    Posted at 16:51h, 04 April Reply

    Hi Sonya Lasagna. (Don’t be mad! lol) I’m the one that gave you the poem. I was afraid to tell anyone that I’ve been cutting and you forced me to admit it and actually say the words. I was really mad at you but now I know that that I supposed to say it out loud. I asked Jesus into my heart and I wanted you to know that you changed my life. I will never forget you and I pray that we can be friends. I had a question. How do you live for Jesus when you live in a home where you are not allowed to talk about Jesus or where they don’t believe in him?

  • LornaDrey
    Posted at 16:55h, 04 April Reply

    Well, what can I say to you but WOW WOW WOW WOW! You are a total blessing, Sonya Brunner. For everything that you have been through, to be willing to share your heart in such a powerful way with those that are desperate to know Jesus and that he loves them, is AMAZING. I sat there in tears as I watched girl after girl respond to Christ and the smile on your face was probably the biggest blessing of the event to me. You should’ve seen yourself! You couldn’t contain your smile and everyone could see that you are covered by Jesus in all that do and say. You are ANOINTED! There is nothing else to say but YOU ARE ANOINTED! I will be talking to Jesus about some hidden crud in my life, too. Thank you for one of the best conference experiences I’ve ever had.

  • hushpup02
    Posted at 16:57h, 04 April Reply

    I wanted to ask you a question but you had people talking to you. But do you have any advice for how to tell a guy “no” to sex?

  • TY08all
    Posted at 17:00h, 04 April Reply

    Sonya, you were such a blessing to me. I learned so many things about myself and about Jesus. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I wanted to ask you this – In the break out session you talked about what gods plan for sex. But do you think that masturbation is wrong and is it the same thing as sex in the bible?

  • lisping&*
    Posted at 17:06h, 04 April Reply

    Hi Sonya. I wanted you to know that you have changed my life. I have been cutting myself for the last 6 months. My step dad raped me starting when I was 11 and he also would beat up my mom. She keeps choosing him over me and I feel angry and hurt so I hurt myself. I don’t know how to stop. When you talked about your story, I felt like I finally had someone who would understand my life. I wanted to know if I would be okay and when I looked at you and your smile I just knew that I would be okay. Thank you for not lying to us. Thank you for telling us the truth and that it would be hard work but I feel like I can breathe for the very first time. Will you pray for me that I can get free from harming myself? I don’t want my past to define me. I want to be strong like you. I just don’t know if I can. Will you write me back, please?

  • flawless conference question
    Posted at 17:26h, 04 April Reply

    Hey i know i already asked a question, but i was wondering how to deal with finding more christian friends as I have many non christian friends.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:35h, 04 April Reply

    Have you forgiven (truly) the groomer and your mother? Y: How did you come about this? when?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:35h, 04 April Reply

    What do you do if your being made fun of all the time

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:36h, 04 April Reply

    How do you handle rejection?

    P.S. God created the chicken in the 7 days, not an egg 😉

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:36h, 04 April Reply

    i was molested when i was seven, and im taking him to court soon and i don’t know how to deal with it. im so broken by it, and your story touched me. how do i get over it?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:36h, 04 April Reply

    What was your thoughts or feelings when you got saved?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:37h, 04 April Reply

    I want to do more to show my love for Christ, but I almost never meet with other people. I feel really hopeless when i hear stories like yours, because I want to help. My father was abused as a child as well. My whole life I have been very sheltered. I feel distanced from others at times because of that. I never knew of rape until I heard about it at youth group from the other teenagers. I want to help others and give then the love I have been so blessed with, from both my family and from GOD, but I do not know how. What do you think I should do?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:38h, 04 April Reply

    So since I’ve had sex with someone does that mean that Jesus doesn’t love me anymore? Because someone told me he doesn’t since I didn’t wait. How do you know if you really believe? I keep struggling with that…

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:39h, 04 April Reply

    My friend got raped by her uncle and she has court this week and she had sex with him when she was 5 or 6 and she has had a bad journey so far and she’s very nervous for court

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 19:45h, 04 April Reply

      I’m so sorry for her pain. That is really hard but I’m glad that she is confronting the man and I’ll be praying for her healing, her peace and her journey with Jesus. You are a GREAT friend to love her and be concerned for her.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:40h, 04 April Reply

    What’s the hardest thing you went through when you were young? I also know someone that got abused by their dad and they had gotten thrown down stairs and other stuff because their dad was drunk all the time.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:40h, 04 April Reply

    I had a friend and they go to church but they still drink and smoke and steal and gets on their phone during prayer and everything but they still seem like their uncomfortable with every thing but she’s okay with everything what would be some advice that I could give them

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 19:43h, 04 April Reply

      I think this is one of the hardest things about being a christian. When we see other christians doing things that we know go against God’s word, and yet they still appear to be doing all the churchy things. It’s really important to not judge and to tell the truth in love. Showing people how much you love Jesus is huge in this regards. When they see you NOT doing the improper things that they are, they will notice and it will make an impression. Loving others is the key. Hate the sin. Love the sinner. We can’t control what others do. But we can control how we respond. I think if you have a relationship with this person, you can ask why they are doing what they’re doing. Listen and tell them that you are going to pray for them.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:41h, 04 April Reply

    How do I follow God after being through so much I’m really having trouble because I didn’t think he was there when I was going through stuff but how did you do it?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:42h, 04 April Reply

    What made you get through all of that? What gave you the courage to keep going?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:43h, 04 April Reply

    How can you help a friend get through a problem like yours?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:44h, 04 April Reply

    How did you get over the fear of being raped?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:45h, 04 April Reply

    What is your favorite book of the bible?

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 19:37h, 04 April Reply

      Ephesians. It tells us who we are in Christ and if we could only grasp this and understand how much Jesus gave for us because He loves us, then everything we do in life would be different. Free. Not out of debt but out of LOVE. My go to passage is Romans 8. It’s just LOADED with good stuff.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:46h, 04 April Reply

    How many people have you helped and did you go get help for what you went through?

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 19:39h, 04 April Reply

      None. Zero. Jesus is the one that helps people. I just tell my story and love people. He does all of it. He’s pretty cool like that.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:47h, 04 April Reply

    What did you do during the day when your mom left you?

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 19:38h, 04 April Reply

      I wrote songs on my little electronic keyboard (the one that I talked about that I got as a “don’t tell gift” from the groomer) and wrote in my journal. The times when she was gone were actually peaceful. Lonely but peaceful.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:49h, 04 April Reply

    How do I control my anger management issues?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:50h, 04 April Reply

    When do you think it’s okay to become in a committed relationship like boyfriend girlfriend?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:51h, 04 April Reply

    I know that God loves me, and I know that’s all that matters. But I look in the mirror and nitpick every flaw, I feel like if people can’t accept my imperfections, how could a perfect God do it? I don’t know how to change my thinking, and it’s damaging every aspect of my life.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:52h, 04 April Reply

    If you can not be nice to your parents and you have prayed about it and it it’s not getting any better. What are you supposed to do?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:52h, 04 April Reply

    How are you supposed to become friends with kids tat are not necessarily “good” kids but you want to get them to God and at the same time you don’t want to Chang and go done the wrong path.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:53h, 04 April Reply

    what do you do if you are trying to bring a friend to God be they might be bad for you. Like they are not a very good/nice person

  • mamalion
    Posted at 17:54h, 04 April Reply

    I am reading through these comments and I am still blown away by what God did at the Flawless conference. To hear your story and then to get to have you talk to each group so openly and honestly was just so helpful to all of us. Bless you, Sonya. I will continue to pray for your ministry. It’s so important.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:55h, 04 April Reply

    If people are mean to you or bully you, how do you control yourself from not being mean back?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:56h, 04 April Reply

    How do you stay happy when you feel like your worthless. I am going thru some stuff at my house and its hard to believe when im mad at the world. And the devil starts to put voices in my head and it scares me. I hope you’ll be able to help me – If you could help that would be amazing.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:59h, 04 April Reply

    I’ve grown up with a mom and dad that love me so much and I’m so glad. But sometimes I don’t like it because a lot of people get jealous and hate me for having a “perfect” life. Everyone has problems but no one I know really sees that except my best friend. It gets really hard and I just don’t know how to get past all of the negative things said about me or people I love. If you can help me thank you.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 17:59h, 04 April Reply

    What do you do when your friends are mean or awkward towards you some of the time or all of the time?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:00h, 04 April Reply

    Did you struggle with keeping your “purity” after being raped? I struggle with feeling that it was taken from me so it doesn’t matter who I’m intimate with…

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:00h, 04 April Reply

    How do you deal with the struggle of abandonment from not having a father?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:01h, 04 April Reply

    Sonya, if I have a friend that I suspect had been abused, how can I open a conversation with them, without scaring them off or making them mad. How do I tell when I’m not sure?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:02h, 04 April Reply

    Sonya, if my friend comes to me about being physical with a boy, how can I encourage her, treat her with forgiveness, but also be clear that its wrong. I don’t want to judge, but I don’t want to ignore it either.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:02h, 04 April Reply

    Do you ever think about Jesus coming back?

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 19:37h, 04 April Reply

      All the time. I look forward to it. I dream of it. I can’t wait.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:03h, 04 April Reply

    Were you adopted into a family?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:03h, 04 April Reply

    What do you do if ur friends trying to commit suicide?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 18:03h, 04 April Reply

    After all your experiences and everything you went through, how did you learn to trust people and open up to people?

  • GrHead88
    Posted at 18:05h, 04 April Reply

    I wanted you to know that I didn’t even want to go to this stupid conference. I have a story like yours. I guess I wanted to try and forget it ever happened. Thank you for telling me your story and for sharing Jesus with us. I asked him to be the boss of my life. I love you, Sonya. You are a beautiful, funny, Jesus girl.

  • 511TerrM
    Posted at 18:09h, 04 April Reply

    I was just wanted to tell you how thankful I am for all that you do and the work Jesus is doing in you and through you. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving in the room (I have NEVER cried so hard in my life). But I just wanted to let you know I am really thankful for you and for all that you are trying to do in the lives of people in this world for Jesus.

  • 6j02lba
    Posted at 18:48h, 04 April Reply

    A friend brought me to FLAWLESS and I wanted to write you and tell you that I asked Jesus into my heart. I never heard about Jesus the way you talked about him. I was raped by my mom’s boyfriend. He only touched me at first but then he wanted to do more and I couldn’t handle it. When I would say no, he would slap my face. I know that I have to forgive him but how do I do that? I know that Jesus isn’t responsible for what happened and that he didn’t want that for me but I am struggling with how to forgive when he doesn’t deserve it. How did you forgive the groomer? And how do you feel about sex now? Do you like it or is it hard for you? Sorry to be personal. I just don’t know who else I can talk to.

  • latetofate
    Posted at 18:49h, 04 April Reply

    Thank you for what you did for our girls. You changed their lives, Sonya. They are forever impacted by your story and how much you love Jesus and love people. I wanted to hear you sing more. Can’t wait for next year.

  • girls09getit
    Posted at 18:53h, 04 April Reply

    Sonya, I wanted you to know that I will never forget your story and all that you shared at the Flawless conference. My friends said that you were the best speaker that they ever heard. We wanted to ask you how do you say no to having sex before marriage when you already have had sex? And did your husband think worse of you because you had been bought by men for sex?

  • 76note#1
    Posted at 20:10h, 04 April Reply

    Hi Sonya. It was such a god thing to get to meet you and hear your story. I want to thank you for what you did for the girls on Saturday. I know that it made an impact on not only the students but on us “big girls”, too. I have a secret that I haven’t shared with anyone. My husband is addicted to pornography. I feel so much shame, like I’m not good enough or that I can’t measure up to the girls that he seems to want to watch. Every time I try to be intimate, I can see those images in my head and it breaks my heart. I’ve confronted him and he does feel horrible about what he’s been doing. He says he loves me and is committed to me but that he still struggles with our sex life not being enough. He came to me and asked me to forgive him and shared all of his concerns and his feelings. I told him that I would forgive him but I realized on saturday when you talked about the inability to forgive someone, that I really never did forgive him or release him from the debt that I think he owes me. I don’t know how to forget about it or move on from here. What do you suggest that I do?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:11h, 04 April Reply

    I want to know why I should forgive my uncle for raping me?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:13h, 04 April Reply

    Sometimes I think that no one sees me. I feel invisible. I cut to erase the bad feelings and to numb myself from feeling anything at all. I want to know how you believed that your husband truly loved you and how did you know that he wouldn’t hurt you like all guys seem to do?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:16h, 04 April Reply

    Sonya, you are our hero. My question is how do you feel knowing that everyone knows what you’ve done? And do people look at you differently? I had some really bad stuff happen to me when I was like 13 and I told my mom but that relationship is different now. When I do open up and share my story, people change. They look at me like they feel sorry for me. They treat me different. How do you handle that?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:17h, 04 April Reply

    We love you, Sonya! We want you to come to our church and talk. Would you do it?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:17h, 04 April Reply

    How do you deal with the guilt for the things that you’ve done?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:18h, 04 April Reply

    How do you know that God is real?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:19h, 04 April Reply

    Thank you for speaking at the conference. We thought you were really funny and nice. Do you have any advice on how to deal with a bully at school who always gets away with it?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:19h, 04 April Reply

    I have had sex with 4 different guys. Will Jesus forgive me?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:22h, 04 April Reply

    You have no idea how much you blessed me, Sonya. I was forced into having sex with a family friend and it lasted for like 2 and half years. I am so messed up. I can’t stand men. I am dating a girl (I like guys but I feel safer with girls) and she and I are in love. I want to know what you think about this and if you think that real love is wrong?

  • Liz07realz
    Posted at 20:25h, 04 April Reply

    WOW! I want to follow you to every place you speak. POW-WER-FUL! I have never heard anyone who can make us cry and make us laugh all at the same time. You have a gift. So you know, we’ve still had conversations about saturday into sunday and we are expecting to keep it going. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for not being afraid to love people. It was so evident. The Holy Spirit was all over you. What words of wisdom can you give us leaders and we try to build on what you shared to keep pursuing crud and truth and Jesus in these girls lives?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:26h, 04 April Reply

    I feel ugly. I feel like I am worthless. I think everyone is making fun of how I look. How can I change this?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:27h, 04 April Reply

    I like this guy who is 3 yrs older. He says that he’s never felt this way bout anyone. He wants to have sex but after hearing you talk i don’t know if I want to. How can I tell him how I feel without losing him?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 20:30h, 04 April Reply

    When the groomer touched you, did it hurt or did you like it? I feel guilty because even though I don’t want him to touch me, it feels good. I feel something is wrong with me. now its like I can’t stop thinking about that feeling. I feel dirty. Can you help me?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:32h, 08 April Reply

    I’ve been really struggling with why god would allow my mom’s boyfriend to rape me. How do I trust a god that allows this?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:36h, 08 April Reply

    I was abused by my father and never told anyone and now I can’t stand men. I’m dating a girl and she and I are in love. I know the bible is clear about this but I wanted to know what god says about this and what you do if you have been hurt by a man and how god would expect you to have any kind of relationship with a man after what you’ve been through? How did you get through this in your life?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:37h, 08 April Reply

    The guy that I’m with likes to have rough sex and it scares me a little bit. I wanted to know if you could tell me what I need to say to him so that he won’t leave me because I don’t want to do that no more.

  • Nan67Rop
    Posted at 14:40h, 08 April Reply

    Oh Sonya, I want to hug your neck and tell you THANK YOU for introducing my daughter to Jesus. We’ve prayed and prayed for a breakthrough and when she got home from the conference she was a different girl. I’ve been reading your story and all of your blogs and I want you to know that you have a powerful ministry in this world. How you can share such heartache and yet smile as you do is a miracle that only god could do. Thank you. I will forever be grateful and bonded to you in my heart.

  • Han62iz
    Posted at 14:42h, 08 April Reply

    I was at flawless and i wanted to ask you if you could tell me what to do about my mom. She is an alcoholic and is not able to keep her job. I think we’re gonna be homeless soon and she’s not doing anything to change. What can I do?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:49h, 08 April Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story, Sonya. You really helped me to see that my past is not what defines me. I got pregnant last year. I thought that the guy would love me and stay with me but he told me that he didn’t love and didn’t want a baby. My mom even wanted me to get rid of it. So I had an abortion. None of my friends know and I feel disgusting. I have been struggling with guilt. I’ve even thought about killing myself. When you talked about guilt i felt like you were talking right to me. Have you ever done something so horrible? What did you do to forgive yourself? Will Jesus forgive me. It feels like he won’t.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:51h, 08 April Reply

    I don’t believe in God. I can’t when my own father raped me over and over.

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:54h, 08 April Reply

    I was hurt by my mom and now live with my grandma. How do you forgive the person and what did you do to learn to trust people again?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:56h, 08 April Reply

    My parents always tell me that I shouldn’t eat certain things or that I need to lose weight to be prettier. I feel like a fat pig and nobody is going to love me. Everyone else has boyfriends and I just feel ugly and unwanted. How do I change the way I feel about myself?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 14:59h, 08 April Reply

    When I was 9 years old I saw my dad having sex with my babysitter. My mom took me and they got divorced but ever since then all I can do is think about sex. I think somethings wrong with me because I always want to have sex. I watch porn and touch myself and I can’t stop. What do I do?

  • flawless conf. question
    Posted at 15:00h, 08 April Reply

    A boy in my youth group has forced me to have oral sex with him and now that I told him no, he has spread lies about me that I was the one that wanted to do that. What should I do?

    • hisgirl
      Posted at 00:53h, 20 April Reply

      I have a question. When you say “forced” did you tell him that you didn’t want to have oral sex with him? Did you tell him “no”? You need to tell your parents or an adult right away. Don’t be afraid of the truth but make sure to tell the truth. It’s important to tell an adult and keep telling until they hear you and can help you.

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