24 Dec A Song of Hope
If you could see inside of me
Then you would see there’s more to me.
The way things are is just so hard
I cry and cry and want to die
But deep inside, I know I’ll try – again.
Someday I will do great things
I will make the whole world sing
No matter what they do to me
Or how much it hurts when I bleed
I know that there is so much more
And so I wait for the open door
Who will come and rescue me
Who will love and care for me
Who will wipe my tears away
Who will love me enough to stay
I know what you’re thinking.
This isn’t a Christmas song.
I beg to differ.
This is a little song that I wrote on Christmas Eve, when I was 8 years old. The journal entry date says December 24th.
Can you believe it?
What I remember as a kid is being beaten, whipped, punched, slapped and burned. I was touched and kissed and raped by one of my mother’s boyfriends. He would torture me, threaten to kill my mother or me if I didn’t do what he wanted. He did anything to appease his sexual appetite. He used ANYTHING to hurt me, rape me, and torture me. He even sold me to other men so they could hurt me and rape me. He tried to break me. He did unspeakable things to my body, to my heart and worse yet…to my mind.
Then when my mother found out, she beat me over and over again. She blamed me for what this man did, as if I asked for it. She did unspeakable things to her child. Burning me with irons, choking me with phone cords, beating me with objects, pulling out my hair. She wanted me dead and would try to kill me. She told me that no one would ever love me.
Somehow I knew…I knew that this wasn’t okay. Somehow I knew that I needed to wait for my rescuer to come.
I had HOPE.
Do you see that? There is strength, power, determination and HOPE in this little song. Look at the words. Even before I knew there was a God, HE was drawing me. This is the HOPE of Christmas. Out of the mouth of the dirty, unloved, girl who nobody wanted…she knew there was MORE. She had HOPE.
The miracle of Christmas is that HOPE was born to save you. Jesus loved you and came to offer a way to be with Him forever by dying on the cross for you and me. He wants to forgive you. He wants to have a relationship with you.
Jesus knows you. He created you and LOVES you. He SEES you. Everything about you. And LOVES you. All of you.
Things ARE hard here on earth. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but GOD does. He sees your tears. He knows your hurt. Your pain might make you feel like you wanna die.
But there is MORE. God has a plan for you. You’re not here by accident. No matter what you’ve done, or what you’ve been through – JESUS is your RESCUER. He has come to save YOU. Jesus IS the OPEN DOOR.
Who loves you and cares about you? Jesus. He gave EVERYTHING for you.
Who will wipe away your tears? Jesus. He weeps with those that are broken hearted.
Who will love you enough to stay? Jesus. He will never leave you or forsake you.
THIS IS CHRISTMAS. Hope was born. That hope was Jesus. Jesus changed the world forever.
God sent His Son, Jesus to be born on this earth. To live a perfect life and to die on a cross and then rise again to live. He came to the world to save the world. You and me. He didn’t come to condemn the world but to SAVE IT. TO SAVE US.
This is the gospel.
That while we were sinners Jesus Christ died on the cross and took our place. In faith, I place my trust in Jesus Christ and turn from my sin. I ask Him to forgive me and He does. And by His grace I walk with Him forever knowing that He will never leave me or forsake me and I am loved. Did you hear what I said??? I am loved. The girl who nobody loved. The girl who nobody wanted. Jesus said, “I want you. I love you.”
Jesus DID rescue me.
He did SAVE me.
Jesus saw the real me and LOVED me.
Jesus DID love me enough to STAY.
There WAS more.
He was my MORE.
He was my HOPE.
What Jesus did for me, He wants to do for you.
Merry Christmas! The greatest gift has already been given to you.