A Song of Hope

A Song of Hope

If you could see inside of me

Then you would see there’s more to me.

The way things are is just so hard

I cry and cry and want to die

But deep inside, I know I’ll try – again.

 

Someday I will do great things

I will make the whole world sing

No matter what they do to me

Or how much it hurts when I bleed

I know that there is so much more

And so I wait for the open door

 

Who will come and rescue me

Who will love and care for me

Who will wipe my tears away

Who will love me enough to stay

 

I know what you’re thinking.

 

 

This isn’t a Christmas song.

I beg to differ.

 

This is a little song that I wrote on Christmas Eve, when I was 8 years old. The journal entry date says December 24th.

 

Can you believe it?

 

What I remember as a kid is being beaten, whipped, punched, slapped and burned. I was touched and kissed and raped by one of my mother’s boyfriends. He would torture me, threaten to kill my mother or me if I didn’t do what he wanted. He  did anything to appease his sexual appetite. He used ANYTHING to hurt me, rape me, and torture me. He even sold me to other men so they could hurt me and rape me. He tried to break me. He did unspeakable things to my body, to my heart and worse yet…to my mind.

 

Then when my mother found out, she beat me over and over again. She blamed me for what this man did, as if I asked for it. She did unspeakable things to her child. Burning me with irons, choking me with phone cords, beating me with objects, pulling out my hair. She wanted me dead and would try to kill me. She told me that no one would ever love me.

 

And yet…

 

Somehow I knew…I knew that this wasn’t okay. Somehow I knew that I needed to wait for my rescuer to come.

 

I had HOPE.

 

Do you see that? There is strength, power, determination and HOPE in this little song. Look at the words. Even before I knew there was a God, HE was drawing me. This is the HOPE of Christmas. Out of the mouth of the dirty, unloved, girl who nobody wanted…she knew there was MORE. She had HOPE.

The miracle of Christmas is that HOPE was born to save you. Jesus loved you and came to offer a way to be with Him forever by dying on the cross for you and me. He wants to forgive you. He wants to have a relationship with you.

 

Jesus knows you. He created you and LOVES you. He SEES you. Everything about you. And LOVES you. All of you.

 

Things ARE hard here on earth. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but GOD does. He sees your tears. He knows your hurt. Your pain might make you feel like you wanna die. 

 

But there is MORE. God has a plan for you. You’re not here by accident. No matter what you’ve done, or what you’ve been through – JESUS is your RESCUER. He has come to save YOU. Jesus IS the OPEN DOOR.

 

Who loves you and cares about you? Jesus. He gave EVERYTHING for you.

 

Who will wipe away your tears? Jesus. He weeps with those that are broken hearted.

 

Who will love you enough to stay? Jesus. He will never leave you or forsake you.

 

THIS IS CHRISTMAS. Hope was born. That hope was Jesus. Jesus changed the world forever.

 

God sent His Son, Jesus to be born on this earth. To live a perfect life and to die on a cross and then rise again to live. He came to the world to save the world. You and me. He didn’t come to condemn the world but to SAVE IT. TO SAVE US.

 

This is the gospel.

 

That while we were sinners Jesus Christ died on the cross and took our place. In faith, I place my trust in Jesus Christ and turn from my sin. I ask Him to forgive me and He does. And by His grace I walk with Him forever knowing that He will never leave me or forsake me and I am loved. Did you hear what I said??? I am loved. The girl who nobody loved. The girl who nobody wanted. Jesus said, “I want you. I love you.”

 

Jesus DID rescue me.

He did SAVE me.

Jesus saw the real me and LOVED me.

Jesus DID love me enough to STAY.

There WAS more.

He was my MORE.

He was my HOPE.

 

What Jesus did for me, He wants to do for you. 

 

 

Merry Christmas! The greatest gift has already been given to you.

 

This Christmas, will you receive this gift?

Say yes.

Jesus can change your life.

9 Comments
  • Janet
    Posted at 19:19h, 24 December Reply

    Oh Sonya, this is just precious. I can’t imagine the things that you’ve been through but we praise God for you being willing and open to sharing it all in order for others to hear the gospel of Jesus. Merry Christmas! Bless you as you bring HOPE to so many.

  • dcdope
    Posted at 19:22h, 24 December Reply

    I read this today and thought that you must be the bravest girl in the world. I too was hurt by a man who raped me repeatedly as a kid. I can tell you that I ahve tried to forgive him but I never seem to get there. I know that I have hate in my heart. I want to be free from this pain. I think that I have been running away from God. I feel like God is using you to speak to me. Can you tell me more?

  • jt666
    Posted at 19:23h, 24 December Reply

    This is amazing. I want to know more about the gospel. I want to be forgiven. What do I do?

  • Feast45
    Posted at 19:25h, 24 December Reply

    I have been hurt sexually by a family friend. I feel ashamed and I have tried to hurt myself. How do I forgive him? Why did God allow this to happen to me if he loves me? Tell me what to do.

  • overit202
    Posted at 19:26h, 24 December Reply

    It’s NOT that simple. I’m sorry for all you went through, but Jesus isn’t a magic fairy that makes it all better. I have lost ALL hope. My pain has taken over my life. I’m mad all the time and all I want to do is die. How can God fix that?

  • steph34
    Posted at 19:29h, 24 December Reply

    When I was 7 years old I witnessed my mom being raped by a family friend. I was traumatized. The next day she pretended that it didn’t happen. When I grew up I tried to talk to her about the rape, but she denied it. I have been damaged and want nothing to do with relationships. I feel like I can’t trust anyone. Will Jesus help me?

  • CherylP
    Posted at 19:31h, 24 December Reply

    God bless you. I have cried and cried over this post today. How beautiful is your Jesus. He was your rescuer. And now you tell people about how he can rescue them. THIS IS CHRISTMAS!

  • WendyR
    Posted at 19:33h, 24 December Reply

    WOW, Sonya. I don’t know what to say about all you’ve been through. How you can get out of bed and smile, besides tell people about Jesus is just inspirational. I enjoy your stories, so much. Please know that you have helped many by being willing to open up your life. Praying that many will see this and receive the gift of Jesus. God bless you and Merry Christmas.

  • Kelsey
    Posted at 19:45h, 24 December Reply

    I love you Sonya!

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